Rice

This probably seems trivial, especially after the hard-hitting investigative reporting I poured my heart and soul into for my read-by-over-ten-people-(maybe) auto-flush toilets post.

However, this blog is supposed to be about things I love but also hate, and we're supposed to explore them together, that was the eternally-binding contract we all entered into.  And, like Rogers, I hold you to that contract, no matter how terrible I treat you, and how much sheer and utter crap I make you read.

Ooooh, did you think I meant Rogers, the cell phone/internet provider to which I am currently subscribed?  No, I was talking about these guys, all named Roger!

Anyway, today I'm thinking about my love/hate relationship with rice.  What is the deal with rice?!

Seriously.  what is the deal?!

I eat rice a lot, and like eggs, it is very versatile.  But, c'mon, aren't we over-hyping rice a bit??  According to this site half of the world's population is eating primarily rice.  Really?!  Rice??  Let's explore some of the awesome alternatives we have.  We could be eating meat sandwiched between meat!  And we're eating the seeds of the monocot plant, Oryza sativa (that's how the smart kids say rice.)  When you eat the double down, you've got your four of five pieces, you stick 'em together, you chew, you spend some time on the toilet.  With rice, you have thousands of morsels of cereal grain!  You eat one of them, you feel like you're really getting somewhere, and then you look down at the bowl and you've barely made a dent in it!  Remember Choose Your Own Adventure novels, when you'd go to page 54, fall down the well, get out, get back into the castle, then somehow end up on page 54 again, fall down the well, climb to safety, just to end up on page 54 again, falling down the well?  That is eating rice, to me.  Falling down a never-ending well on page 54.

Would you fall down a well in this Choose Your Own Adventure novel?  Or would you just continuously wave your hands in the air, all the while not caring?

I would also like to add another argument to why I think rice is over-hyped.  If we refer back to this site (note how the page is called "interesting facts about rice."  I'd suggest they refer to this before naming their web pages) you will see that "three of the world's four most populous nations are rice-based societies."  People's Republic of China, India and Indonesia.  But also, according to the site, "Every year, 50 million people are added to Asia's soaring population of 3.5 billion."  Ignoring the fact that the wording of that sentence makes Asia sound like a Sims game, does anyone else sense a rice conspiracy?  If I got three of the world's four most populous nations to eat the double down, then said double down would be the staple diet of half the world's population.

And my, what a world it would be!!

But really, I also love rice a lot.  I eat brown rice with chicken, avocado, sun-dried tomatoes and sweet potatoes, I make sushi a lot, and I've even been known to indulge in a rice pudding.  That's right, rice pudding!  It can be savoury or sweet!  I also found this recipe for sticky rice balls- a delicious food, but an unfortunate nickname.  Rice is also really good for you.  Eaten with almost every meal in Japan, according to Dr. Oz, short-grain rice helps you feel satisfied for longer, and fuller, faster.  And we all know that Dr. Oz should always be trusted.

Oh, wait, no.  Not this guy.  Although he's not exactly untrustworthy, per se.  Perhaps just not as gung-ho about rice...

Anyway.  Do what you want, really.  Rice is great, it's also frustrating.  If it's causing you to stay up late blogging about it, you might want to lay off for a while.  If, however, you've been looking for something extra to cover in batter, deep-fry and add to your double down, try some rice!

Rice, in it's most natural form.